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personal: virginity
virginity: what does it mean to you?
  virgins tell their stories
According to dictionary.com, virgin is defined as:

1. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.
2. A chaste or unmarried woman; a maiden.
3. An unmarried woman who has taken religious vows of chastity.
4. Virgin The Virgin Mary.
5. Zoology. A female insect or other arthropod that produces fertile eggs without copulating.

These definitions don't begin to describe the anticipation, excitment, intimacy, fears, nervouseness, joy, pain...the completely personal, individual experience of "losing your virginity". 

Read some of our stories (below). Tell us yours...virginity questionnaire

view vulva diagram...

Who's afraid of the "artificial hymen"? by Tracy Clark-Flory, OCT 7, 2009

virginity story

virginity story 161
what does "losing your virginity" mean to you? - define the term, and then tell us about what the experience signified for you...

  look up "sexual intercourse" in the dictionary.

what were your expectations of what the experience would be like prior to losing your virginity?

  that it would be special, but that it would hurt immensely.

how old were you, and was this the age when expected or intended to lose your virginity?

  18. when i was a freshman in high school my best friend and i promised that we wouldn't become "statistics." meaning, we wouldn't be one of the 80% of sexually active females in the US that lost their virginity when they were 15 and 16. we decided to wait until we were at least 17. my first high school boyfriend laughed, and told me i was way too sexual to ever be able to wait until i was 17. i made a bet with him that i could wait til i graduated high school. I WON :D i lost my virginity to my (current) boyfriend 6 days after graduation. haha, so the ex owed me a dinner date. i'm glad i waited til i was 18. i was an adult, and i feel like having sex at an earlier age would've felt awkward, and wrong. at 18 it felt perfect, and made me feel like the adult i was becoming.

what did it feel like? was there blood? did your partner know it was your first time and did you talk about it before?


it hurt more than i could've imagined. however, every guy that had ever fingered me prior to me having sex each had commented on how abnormally tight i was compared to other girls, and regular-sized tampons were always uncomfortable. there was no blood! but i am an extremely active person, and throughout high school i played volleyball, soccer, and swim year round, so that may have been the reason why. yes, he knew it was my first time. he was 4 years older, so obviously he was not a virgin. he had lost it at 17. he was really sweet about it though! we dated for 4 1/2 months before having sex. "making love" as he calls it haha. he freaked out about making positively sure that i was ready. he didn't want to hurt me and hated it that i was in so much pain, so i guess that was cute, in an odd sort of way! i left for europe the day after we first did it, so the second time was 3 weeks later, and it hurt just like the first time! but about the 4th or 5th time it stopped hurting and started feeling amazingggg. oh and by the wayyy, i must be the luckiest girl alive, because through all the pain i still managed to orgasm twice my FIRST time. go me :D

what did your mother, family, friends tell you about losing your virginity...

  it took me MONTHS to tell anyone. i just felt it was extremely personal, and that no one really needed to know about that part of my life.

what would/did you tell your daughter about losing her virginity...

i would handle it a hell of a lot differently than my mother did! i would be open about it, and even though i am christian i would NOT play the bible card. i would not want my faith (and hopefully her same faith!) to scare her out of telling me about the most intimate parts of her life. i would want to protect her fully.

this conversation makes me think...

that losing your virginity isn't as big of a deal as everyone claims it is. i didn't ever feel any different, just more mature i guess.

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