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personal: virginity
losing your virginity  

virginity story

virginity story 156
what does "losing your virginity" mean to you? - define the term, and then tell us about what the experience signified for you...

  "virginity" loss refers to the experience of becoming sexually intimate for the first time. I find that the term "virgin" is pretty degrading to women and men... sexuality should not be commodified in that way.. virgin or not, we are human. besides, you do not "lose" anything when you have sex with your loving partner. you gain trust, devotion and joy.

what were your expectations of what the experience would be like prior to losing your virginity?

  i thought that it would hurt and be very dramatic. my opinions about sex were largely shaped by really stupid TV shows and gossip from friends.

how old were you, and was this the age when expected or intended to lose your virginity?

  i was 14, my boyfriend was 15. i had been with my boyfriend for a year. i am not surprised we had sex when we did, and i felt it was an appropriate time.

what did it feel like? was there blood? did your partner know it was your first time and did you talk about it before?


it hurt, and i bled a little bit since my boyfriend's penis is pretty thick and long. i could also feel alot of pressure on my cervix. after a while, it started to feel incredible. he knew it was my first time, and it was his first time as well. we kept a very open and honest dialog about sex before our first experience and we continue to do so today. we did not climax our first time since his little brother came home and we didn't have privacy. he didn't know what we were up to. we had sex several times that week (in more privacy), each time talking, critiquing and exploring each others bodies. Now we are both 17 and we have beautiful, transcendent sex several times a week. We have been engaged for a year.

what did your mother, family, friends tell you about losing your virginity...

  my mom wanted me to wait as long as possible, since she views sex as more of a burden and responsibility than a pleasure. however, i tell her everything about my sex life and she supports my choices. she has become more open minded about sex because she trusts me and my boyfriend to be careful. my family has severely puritanical views about sex. the only people i share details of my sex life with would be my mom and close friends. the rest of my family is very judgmental and i do not feel i can trust them.

what would/did you tell your daughter about losing her virginity...

i would tell my own children (regardless of their gender) that sex is a beautiful, spiritual and holy experience. virginity is not lost and your body is not somehow less valuable once you have sex. I hope that one day i can instill in my own children the values of commitment, love and devotion to their partners. i want to convey that sex is most edifying within the context of a trusting relationship. more than anything, though, i want them to remember that sex is a celebration of light, love and the goodness of our world.

this conversation makes me think...

just thinking about me and my boyfriend's sexual endeavors make me wildly horny. i think i'm going to call him now. i love to just be near him.

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